A sparkle of hope
by ravenclaw-enfp
Summary: It is August, 1990, and almost nine years since that horrible night, when someone knocks on Remus Lupin's door with surprising news. They had found an old friend of him - a friend who Remus thought was dead. This turns everything upside down, and when the love of his life - the person he had spent nine years trying to hate - comes back, nothing will ever be the same.
1. A welcome return

_''Welcome to Wizarding News. It is August 6th, 1990, and this is Richard Acker saying good morning! Today, we are going to talk about...''_

Remus switched station and some music came out from the radio instead. He was just going to make some breakfast for himself when he heard a knock on the door. He threw a glance at the clock on the wall. It was not even nine, who could possibly be visiting him now?

He walked out to the hallway and opened the door.  
''P-professor McGonagall! What... what are you...?''

The woman's eyes were wide-open and she looked pale. She stumbled in over the treshold. Wisps of hair were falling out from her hairbun.

''I... I just found out'', she began. ''And I thought you should know... they don't want anyone to know about it yet, but...''

''Know what? What happened?''

He immediately got a bad feeling about this. What could this be about? Was it Harry? Or was it...? He did not even dare to think about it. He knew that people in Azkaban often died after just a few years, maybe just months. They stopped eating and then they died. The thought had haunted him since 1981, and even if he wished Lily, James and Peter revenge more than anything else, it killed him.

''They found him.''

''Who? Found who?''

''Pettigrew.''

Remus just stared at her for several seconds before he realized what she had just said.

''That is impossible'', he said quietly.

''Pettigrew is alive.''

The first thing that came to Remus mind was happiness _. Peter was alive_. They could see each other again, Peter, who had always been there for Remus and supported him while almost everyone else turned their back on him. But the happiness was replaced by confusement in just a few seconds. First of all _, how_ could Peter be alive? They found small parts of him years before. Second, why had he been hiding all those years? Whatever or whoever it was he was hiding from, did he not trust Remus enough to let him know he was alive?

''You... it can't be him'', Remus said. ''It...''

''They gave him veritaserum as soon as they got him to the ministry. This _is_ Peter Pettigrew. I saw him.''

It made no sense. Nothing made sense. Peter was _dead._ He died nine years ago because _a psychopath_ blew him up to a million pieces. Remus had spent the last nine years trying to accept the fact that he was _gone._

''S-so? What did he say?''

 _''He is guilty, Remus! This is Peter Pettigrew and he stayed hidden for all those years! He betrayed Lily and James Potter!''_

''But no, it's impossible! They casted the charm so that – wait...'' He stared at her for a few moments before he realized. _''They switched Secret Keeper!?''_

''Yes! And then Pettigrew cut the finger of himself so that everyone would think he was dead!''

''What about all the muggles who saw him –?''

''What if Peter did not _die_ in the explosion, but was the one who _made_ the explosion?''

And then, suddenly, Remus understood.

 _''THEN –''_

 _''I know!''_

 _''THEY HAVE THE WRONG MAN! WHERE IS HE? THEY HAVE TO GET HIM NOW! I HAVE TO MEET HIM, I HAVE TO TALK TO HIM...''_

''He is on his way to the ministry as we speak – ''

Remus was still in his pajamas, but he looked around for his jacket.

 _''When can I see him?''_

''First, he has to go to an interrogation –''

''Where?''

''The ministry.''

''Can you go there by floo?''

''Yes, but I am not sure that they will let you in there...''

''I don't care, I'll go there. Are you coming with me?''

''Well, yes, but –''

He did not listen to her. A thousand thoughts were running through his mind. There were so many feelings he could not pick one to focus on. He was angry and confused, but most important of all, he could see a sparkle of _hope_ for the first time in many, many years. He was not alone. All of the people he cared about were not murdered or murderers. _Maybe, he could even be happy again._

There was a stressed tension in the atmosphere at the ministry. People ran around with worried faces and their hands ful of papers and talked to each other with low but upset voices. Everything was going on around Remus like a distant alarm – he did not hear the sounds, he did not see the faces. Until he spotted a familiar one –

 _''You!''_ he said and stormed over to the man at the other side of the hall. _''It's your fault! It's all your fault!''_

McGonagall tried to stop him, but he ignored her.

 _''I hope everyone you care about dies! I hope you'll get to know what it feels like to be alone!''_

''Remus! Be quiet!''

 _''I HOPE SOMEONE LOCKS YOU IN TO AZKABAN SO YOU CAN KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO SIT THERE AND ROT –''_

''REMUS!''

McGonagall grabbed his arm and pulled him back, even though she looked like she would not mind having a go at the ministry worker herself. Crouch looked speechless and a few people around them in the entrance hall had stopped what they were doing to look up and see where the yelling came from.

McGonagall pulled him in to an empty corridor. Remus was furious. He wanted to see him dead – he wanted to see Crouch dead _, he_ was the one who had given order about sending Sirius to Azkaban without a trial... Sirius never had the chance to explain himself... If he had gotten it, then maybe...

''Lupin! You are at the Ministry of Magic! You can not behave like a mental patient! I know that you are upset, so am I, but –''

 _''Nine years! Nine years!''_

''I know, I understand...''

She stopped when she heard the sound of voices coming from another corridor.

''It's security measures, I am sorry.''

 _''Security measures?_ Are you kidding with me? You have just deprived me nine years of my life, and you are going to keep locking me in?''

Remus quickly turned around when he heard the voice.

''We are not locking you in, we're...''

 _''PLEASE JUST TAKE THIS THING OFF, IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!''_

''Okay, okay, but if you don't stay calm we'll have to hex you...''

''Yeah, yeah, whatever...''

He could spot shadows at the other end of the corridor and then four figures appeared. Three people from the ministry, and a _very_ familiar face –

The ministry workers coaxed the handcuffs off and the man rubbed his sore wrists with a irritated look in his face. And then he looked up.

To say that Sirius Black was the same as 1981 would have been a lie. His fit body and healthy look was gone – he was basically a skeleton with dark shadows under his eyes and sunken cheeks. His usually so well-groomed hair was just a black mess over his face. But when Remus looked him in the eyes – it was Sirius. It was the same Sirius that he had hated for years and loved for even longer than that.

Everything stopped. McGonagall and the ministry workers were quiet. Remus and Sirius stared at each other for several seconds before Remus began to walk towards Sirius. Sirius almost ran to meet him. Remus quickened his pace and soon, he was running, too. He could feel the tears burn in his eyes even more and tried to blink them away, but by the time he got to Sirius, Sirius was already crying and Remus gave after to the tears. And there it was – the feeling of Sirius arms around him.

They held each other tighter than ever before. They were sobbing hysterically and Sirius buried his face in to Remus' shoulder.

''I'm sorry'', was the first thing he said. ''I'm sorry, I'm sorry...''

 _''I'm_ sorry'', Remus cried. ''Fuck, Sirius –''

''We should've told you – ''

''I _believed_ them – ''

''I'm sorry, I'm sorry...''

''God, I've missed you so much –''

''I never thought I was going to see you again...''

'' _I'm so fucking sorry._ ''

They fell down to their knees, still with their arms around each other as if they never planned to let go.

Even if Remus was happier than he had been in a long time, the tears would not stop coming. But he was to busy holding Sirius and breathing in the smell of him to care.

''I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you'', he whispered.

He let go of Sirius, only to grab his face and kiss him. The kiss was filled with passion and desire, oh, how he had missed it –

''I love you, Moony. I'm so sorry. God, I love you.''

Remus kissed him again and Sirius hands flew up to his hair.

''I'll never leave you alone again'', Sirius promised.

''I wouldn't let you, arsehole.''

Sirius laughed and in that moment, Remus suddenly remembered what it felt like to breathe. They stood there, hugging each other for a while, and they could have stayed there forever. When they separated, Remus held Sirius' face close to his own and stared him in to the eyes.

''How could I _ever_ think that you were something else than innocent?''

Sirius did not answer, but kissed him again.

They were interrupted by McGonagall who cleared her throat behind them. Sirius looked up and she gave him a warm smile. He stood up.

''I knew you couldn't be a monster'', she said quietly and held out her arms to embrace him. He smiled back and hugged the old woman.

''I missed you, professor.''

She gave him a pat on the cheek before she turned to them both.

''I talked to the Minister of Magic'', she said. ''And since the evidence is so obvious – with the veritaserum, and everything – you won't have to stay for the interrogation today.''

''Why do I have to go at all?''

''It's just a routine-thing. Don't worry. The real issue is the press. If they find you you won't get a moment of peace for a while. Is there anywhere you can go?''

''I have a flat in Cardiff. It's small, but it's something. For now.''

Sirius gave him a grateful smile.

''Good'', McGonagall said. ''I think most people would understand that you are not in the mood for interviews today.''

''No'', Sirius confirmed.

''Where did the ministry workers go?'' Remus asked.

''They are seeing what they can do to get Sirius his wand, and to pick a date when he can come here... the ministry will have to pay damages to you, of course, probably a lot.''

'''What...?''

''I would expect at least a hundred thousand galleons, if I was you. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go find that idiot I talked to a minute ago...''

Sirius turned to Remus again. He still had tears in his eyes. Remus pulled him in to his arms again.

''It's over'', he whispered. ''It's finally over. We have each other and I will never allow anything to separate us again, okay?''

''Let's move.''

''Yes. Oh my God _, yes_.''

''We'll move to a beautiful, beautiful place. We can afford it, you heard her, they will pay me, we will never have to worry about money again. We'll buy the wolfsbane potion every month! We can travel, you know, like we always talked about. We can see the world together. And eventually, we will be allowed to get married.'' Sirius let go of Remus and stroke a wisp of hair out of his face. Remus had changed over the years, too, his hair was longer and it fell down to his eyes, and Sirius could spot some small wrinkles in his face even if he was just thirty years old. ''We'll be a family and we can be happy. You and me and Harry – what about Harry, where is he? How is he?''

Remus suddenly looked sad.

''R-remus?'' Sirius asked nervously. ''How is Harry?''

''I... I don't know'', Remus whispered. ''I haven't seen him since James and Lily died.''

 _''What!? But who is taking care of him, then!?''_

''They would never give me the custody.''

''So... so Mary has him, right?''

''No –''

''So who, then? Mrs Bagshot?''

''No, he –''

''What about...''

''Sirius, listen to me. Harry is staying with his aunt and his uncle.''

Sirius looked confused.

''Petunia?''

''Yes.''

''Petunia Evans?''

''She's Petunia Dursley now, but yes.''

 _''Have you met that woman?''_

''Unfortunately I have.''

 _''She is evil!''_

''Sirius, please, calm down. I am just as upset about this as you are, but Dumbledore did not want Harry to have contact with the magical world. He thought it would be better for him to grow up without knowing about his fame. He would have a normal childhood.''

''That's not up for Dumbledore to decide! Are you telling me he does not even know who I am?''

''He doesn't.''

''And what about you?''

''He would not recognize me to save his life.''

''But... what about Lily and James? If he does not know about magic, how –''

''I don't know. They probably told him some lie about an accident.''

 _''What?_ And you... you've never met him? Why?''

''I tried a few years ago. I just wanted to check up on him. Maybe show him a few pictures of Lily and James – muggle pictures, of course – but Petunia recognized me the second she opened the door and just slammed it in my face.''

''I can't believe it! We have to get him – ''

''We will. We will. Now, when you're here, they can't say anything else. It's Lily and James decision to make, and they have already done it.''

''You're right. Now, let's get out of here. Where... what about... what about my things?''

''Sold. They probably put the money back to your account.''

''Great. But... but what about... photos and stuff?'' Sirius asked.

''I went there, to your flat, and I filled a box with some things. Letters, photographs, some things that I think Harry might want when he get older. I found some of James' old things, so I took them too. I still have them.''

''I thought you would raze the whole place.''

''Oh, I did. And then I fixed it again'', said Remus.

''I have never heard of an action so typical you.''

''Mm. I know.''

Sirius smiled and grabbed his hands.

''Are you sure about this?'' he asked. Now, he was almost whispering.

''About what?''

''Us.''

''Are you kidding me?''

''No, I'm Sirius.''

''Damn, I guess I walked straight in to that one.''

''Except you're not straight'', Sirius said.

''Will you stop with the fucking puns already?''

Sirius laughed and pulled him closer.

''Mm. Maybe. Joking aside... where was I, again?''

''Me not being sure about us.''

''Yeah, yeah, right. Look, I understand. It's been nine years.''

''For you, too.''

''Yes, but I sat in an isolated cell. Moony, I understand that you had to move on. I never expected you to wait for me. When I saw you here today... I thought you only came here as a friend. And then you kissed me. And then you told me you loved me.''

''Because I do'', Remus said with a raised eyebrow. ''Are you saying we are over?''

 _''NO!''_ Sirius said immediately. ''No, no, no! I love you. I was so happy when you said it, you have no idea. But I just... _if_ it was just because the situation was overwhelming, I understand. It's been so long. I just... you know, if people lose a husband or a wife, it is not unusual that they find someone new in just a few years. Maybe just a few months. I just thought that... if you thought I had lied to you this whole time... and those people -who's partners died loving them - fell in love again so quickly... then why would _you_ wait for me...''

''I didn't wait for you'', Remus interrupted him with a low voice. Sirius went silent. ''I didn't. I spent nine years trying to hate you, but I couldn't. I spent nine years trying to get you out of my dreams, but I couldn't. I spent nine years trying to fall in love with someone else, but I couldn't. I spent nine years trying to get the taste of your lips out of my head, but it I couldn't. I spent nine years trying to unlove you, but I simply couldn't.''

''Moony...'' Sirius whispered, now so low that Remus would not have heard it if Sirius voice would not have been just centimeters from his ears.

''Padfoot'', Remus answered, and a smile curled on Sirius' lips as he heard Remus say his old nickname. ''The love I have for you is eternal. Don't you understand that?''

Sirius was speechless.

''So... it's you and me again? We're still an us?''

''If you want it to.''

A few moments of silence went by.

''It's too good to be true'', he mumbled after a while. Remus searched his eyes.

''Do you love me?'' he asked.

''Of course I do. I told you.''

''Now that's something to good to be true.''

''But it _is_ true.''

Remus smiled.

''Then miracles can really happen, can't they?''

''The wise boy who fell in love with a maniac'', Sirius said.

''The wolf that howled at a star'', Remus filled in.

''The punk rock guy who turned out to be really, really gay'', Sirius continued.

''The beauty and the beast.''

''You're not a beast, Remus.''

''Oh no, I'm the beauty'', Remus said lightly. ''You're the beast.''

''Ha-ha. Very funny, McWerewolf.''

''Let's go find McGonagall so we can get home soon, shouldn't we?''

''Randy?''

''Nine years, baby. Nine years.''

''Did you just call me baby?'' asked Sirius. His eyes gleamed for a second.

''I hope you enjoyed it, because it's never going to happen again'', Remus said.

''Damn.'' Sirius let go of Remus hands and put them on his cheeks. ''I liked it.''

Remus watched him. Even if the years had an visible effect on Sirius, in Remus eyes, he had never looked better.

''Merlin, Sirius.''

''What is it?''

''I have never understood exactly _how_ gorgeous you are.''

A warm sensation spread in Sirius' chest as he heard Remus say that. He looked him in the eyes and wondered how it was possible for a couple of eyes to be so perfect.

''And you're more beautiful than ever.''

''Doubt it.''

''Shut up, McWerewolf. I love you.''

They kissed each other again.

''I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry'', Remus said when their lips separated.

''I'm sorrier than you are. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.''

''Are we really gonna do this again?''

''No. Sorry.''

''I love you.''

''I love you even more.''

''That's not possible.''

''Shut up.''

''I've missed you so much I think it drove me crazy.''

''Don't worry. We can be crazy together.''


	2. 4 Privet Drive

''Good morning, princess.''

It took a few seconds before Sirius remembered what had happened the day before, and he smiled before he turned his head up to meet Remus' eyes.

''Good morning, beautiful.''

''Did you sleep well?''

''Yeah. Your arms are probably the most comfortable place in the world.''

Remus smiled.

''I'm glad to hear that'', he said. Sirius smiled back at him before he laid down his head against Remus' shoulder again.

''What about you? How did you sleep?'' he asked.

''For the first time in nine years, I did not wake up one single time from a nightmare.''

Sirius did not respond, but let his finger run down Remus' bare chest. Remus gently sctratched his back without even thinking about it, because even after nine years, the habit was still there.

''Do you get them a lot?'' Sirius asked.

''Every night except from full moon.''

''What are they about?''

''You. And them. Lily and James. And Peter, of course.''

''I... you had nightmares about me?''

''Yes. I'm sorry'', Remus mumbled.

''You can't apologize for what happens in your subconcious.''

''No, but if I had not believed in all that stuff and trusted you instead, then there would not have been a reason for you to be in my subconcious in the first place.''

''What... what did I do? In your dreams?''

''It does not matter, does it? It's not real and it's based on things that is not true.''

Sirius did not respond, but he knew that Remus was right.

There was silence again. They listened to the birdsong outside of the window and each other's heartbeats, and that was enough.

''I always wondered... if there was a chance'', Remus began with a calm voice after ten minutes. ''That... that despite all the lies...''

He did not finish the sentence.

''What?'' Sirius asked curiously.

''No, just...'' Remus had never confessed this for anyone before, not even himself. ''Just that despite all the lies, maybe you loved me. I always thought that maybe that one was not a lie.''

''Of course it wasn't. Neither were the other things I told you.''

''That was the only thing I could think of. It was the only way I could understand why you never killed me. The thought comforted me way more than it should have. I tried to push it away, but it stayed there.''

Once again, Sirius stayed quiet for a while, before he whispered;

''It's over.''

''It is.''

''It's finally over. It took ten years, but it's over. We lost Lily and James, but it's over.''

''We'll make them proud, Sirius.''

''I'm scared.'' Suddenly, Sirius' voice was shaking.

''What are you scared of?''

''I... I'm suddenly thrown back in to a life I know nothing about. It's freedom, but it is not the freedom I'm used to. I... I just don't know this life. I don't know this world.''

''You know me.'' Remus' words calmed Sirius down a bit. ''Maybe this is not the life you're used to, but you know what – we'll build a new life. A happy life. You and me and Harry.''

Sirius smiled.

''You and me and Harry.''

''This is a new start for us. We can just... build it from scratch. Where do you want to live? We can live anywhere in the world. We have no friends, no family, no job, and yeah, that sucks, but it gives us the chance to just... design it ourselves. I know you always wanted to live by the ocean, we can do that now. We will be a family and we will make new connections and everything is going to be all right. And Lily and James will always be with us. Maybe we can't see them, but that doesn't mean they can't see us.''

More silence.

''Sirius? Why are you so quiet?''

He felt a drop of water on his shoulder and understood immediately.

''You don't have to pretend for me'', he whispered and buried his face in Sirius' hair. Sirius let out a sniffle. ''You never have to.''

''Just... just tell me again that everything will be fine'', Sirius begged.

''It will. I promise. It will be great. It's just a lot of new things, but we will get used to them. And I will stay by your side no matter what happens, do you understand?''

''What if you change your mind?''

''That would never happen.''

Normally, Sirius would have protested, but Remus said it with such dedication in his voice Sirius did not dare to say against him. Instead, he smiled, even if the tears kept streaming. He was not even sure why he was crying – he was just a big pack of feelings he could not sort out.

''Where do _you_ want to live, then?'' he asked, grabbing Remus hand and intertwining his fingers with Remus's.

''Wherever you are.''

''Really?'' Sirius asked. His hand was still resting at Remus' chest, following every single one of his breaths.

''Really. You want to live by the ocean, I'll live by the ocean'', Remus said. ''And if you want to live in a fucking cave, that's fine with me, too.''

''I just want you to be happy.''

''I'm happy as long as I'm with you. We'll find something. And today – '' Remus sat up carefully and Sirius rolled of his shoulder. '' – is the day when we will meet our little boy again.''

''Great. Shouldn't we make a plan?''

''Yeah. Here's the plan. Get dressed. I'll make breakfast. We'll talk about it there.''

Twenty minutes later, Sirius Black sat clean and dressed in Remus' kitchen. Remus smiled at the sight of him.

''Well, my cooking skills are not the same as yours, but at least they are better than it was nine years ago.''

''God, I hope so'', Sirius laughed and poured up some hot water in two tea mugs. ''So, what is happening today?''

''You heard Dumbledore yesterday. He insisted on coming with us, and I think that might be a good idea.''

''Yeah. So is he coming here?''

''Yes. One o'clock.''

Sirius glanced at the clock on the wall.

''That's in thirty minutes'', he noted.

''I'm aware.''

Sirius felt nervous and his heart was beating fast, but Remus looked calm. He always looked calm. How could he always look calm?

''But are we... what are we going to say?''

''Dumbledore will explain to them.''

''And then he will just... ask if he would like move here?''

''I thought about that'', Remus said. ''And maybe we could make a better plan than just taking him here immediately. He is probably in school, right?''

''But he is going to Hogwarts, he does not need to go there anymore!''

''No, but what if he wants to? Maybe he has friends there? It would be wrong of us to just take him away from everything he knows about to live with two strangers. Besides, muggle education is not a waste of time. It's great to learn those things, maths and stuff.''

''I suppose you're right'', Sirius said.

''Let's not forget that the only life he knows about is with the Dursleys. He does not know us. Maybe we should just get to know him first before we talk about moving anywhere. I hate this place, but... maybe we could stay here, you and me, until we know how it's going to be.''

''Yeah. And let's just... not get our hopes up. He's just a boy and we're strangers.''

''Exactly. We'll just do our best and see what happens. One step at the time.''

''Even if I am his legal guardian, it's common sense to do what he wants. He is old enough to make the decision himself.''

''Yes. Let's start by introducing ourselves.''

They finished their breakfast and then Remus went to the bathroom to take a shower. While he was in there, Sirius took a look at the photos on the shelf in Remus' living room.

There were loads of them; and every single one was moving. The people on them were smiling, dancing, living – they looked happy.

With a pain in his chest, Sirius' eyes fell to one in the middle, from 1978. Sirius remembered it, because he was the one who had taken it. It was a picture of James, Remus and Peter, looking for furntiure for Peter's new flat, red-nosed and happy on the snowy streets of London. There were pictures of Remus parents and his grandmother and some muggle pictures of Remus with his cousins. Even more pictures of James and Peter, often together with Lily's bright smile. James and Lily together with Harry, laughing. Sirius was not anywhere on the photos, except from one –

It was from 1979 and he was smiling big next to his best friend. The photo was from James and Lily's wedding.

''I couldn't cut you out of that one'', a voice behind Sirius said, and Sirius flinched.

''You scared me!''

''Sorry.'' Remus was dressed in a light blue shirt and a couple of muggle jeans. His eyes were fastened on the photo in the middle, the one of himself, James and Peter. ''It looks like I cut out the wrong person. I'll have to fix that.''

Sirius gave him a sad smile, before his look went to Remus' outfit.

''Damn. You look hot.''

''Muggle clothes. You should change, too. I put them on the bed. I hope they fit.''

''Thank you. I'll go change, then.''

''Yeah, do that.''

When Sirius got back to the living room, Dumbledore was sitting in the couch. He looked just the same as nine years earlier, with the same beard and the same glasses.

''Professor Dumbledore...!''

''Good to see you again, Sirius'', Dumbledore smiled at him and stood up to shake his hand. ''And I am really sorry for the unfortunate events that happened to you.''

''Er, thank you...''

Remus, who sat in the armchair next to the couch, did a gesture to show Sirius that he should sit down. Sirius did, still looking at Dumbledore.

''I see you two have dressed for our little errend today'', Dumbledore continued. ''I think we have nothing to worry about. May I suggest that I go in first? I don't want to overwhelm poor Petunia, and she has probably seen the news about Sirius. I could explain to her.''

''Sure, professor'', Remus said. ''I just... I just wonder... is it really a good idea for me to come with you two?''

''What?'' Sirius said with a confused look at Remus. ''What are you talking about?''

Remus looked at Dumbledore for answers.

''That's really up for Sirius to decide'', said Dumbledore calmly.

''Of course I want you there!'' Sirius said.

''I was just wondering. He doesn't know me...''

''He doesn't know me either.''

''No, but you're his godfather'', said Remus.

''Please? I need you there.''

''I'll come if you want me to.''

''Good. Decision made.''

''Maybe we should leave soon'', Dumbledore said. ''Of course, Sirius, since Lily and James made you their guardian, you are free to take Harry with you. Though, I would recommend that...''

''We talked about that'', Sirius interrupted him. ''We'll ask him about it. We'll ask him what he wants. It's his choice.''

''Brilliant. I am sure that this would be a great home for him.''

''We are not planning to stay here'', Remus said. ''This place is too small.''

''I trust the two of you to make it a great home for him wherever you live'', Dumbledore added with a smile. ''Are you ready to leave?''

Sirius and Remus looked at each other.

''Ready?''

''Ready.''

''I think you are the definition of impatience, right now.''

Sirius, who had been walking back and forth on the little spot on empty muggle street, stopped and looked up.

''How can you be so calm?''

''Are you kidding me? I think my heart is going to fall out of my fucking chest for beating too fast'', Remus confessed.

He was leaning towards the lamppost, watching Sirius, who walked over to him and grabbed his hands.

''We don't have to worry. It will be fine.''

''He'll love you, Sirius.''

''He will love you, too. It will work out.'' He gave Remus a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to Privet Drive number four again. ''What's taking so long?''

Seconds after, the door to the house opened and Dumbledore stepped out. Sirius let go of Remus' hands and started walking towards him with a quick pace. Remus was not late to follow.

''Hello'', Dumbledore said when they walked onto the grounds. ''I just had a nice little chat with Petunia and Vernon. Come inside, please.''

He stepped in through the door and Sirius and Remus followed him. The door closed behind them and they stood face to face with Mr and Mrs Dursley.

There was a few moments of silence.

''Er'', Remus began and stepped forward. He reached out his hand. ''Hi. I am not sure if you remember me, my name is R...''

''I know who you are'', Petunia said with a cold voice. He was chocked by her answer, but he did not say anything.

All four of them – Remus, Sirius, Vernon and Petunia - had met before, even if it was not a pleasant memory. They had all been at Lily and Petunia's parents for dinner – together with James and a few friends of Petunia and Vernon - and it had all ended in Lily bursting out in tears.

''So, I thought it might be a good idea to talk through this'', Dumbledore said. ''May we sit down in the living room, maybe?''

Vernon, who looked a lot like he had done eleven years earlier, but fatter and with grey hairs, was muttering something Remus or Sirius could not hear, but Dumbledore did not wait for a proper response before he started to walking towards the living room.

The odd crowd sat down in the couch and they all exchanged a few awkward looks.

''Well'', Dumbledore began. ''As I explained to you, things have changed. The person guilty of James and Lily's death, and twelve innocent muggles, is not Sirius, here, but Peter Pettigrew.''

''Peter Pettigrew?'' Petunia said. ''Wasn't he that fat little friend of yours?''

''He was'', Sirius muttered.

''Lily mentioned him a few times. A creep, just like the whole lot of you.''

Sirius could feel Remus discreetly put his little finger on Sirius' hand. It was a gesture that said; ' _'I know, but stay calm.''_

''With these new circumstances'', Dumbledore continued, ignoring Petunia's little taunt about wizards, ''Lily and James's wills are valid, since Sirius is no longer in Azkaban.''

''You want to take the boy.''

It was not Petunia who spoke this time, it was Vernon.

''Not really'', Sirius said. ''We're not going to force him out of here. We just want to give him the opportunity to choose.''

Petunia snorted.

''He's like _that_ , just like his mother. Of course he will want to stay with you.''

''Like _that?''_ Remus repeated with an uncomprehending look.

''Weird things happen around that boy.''

''He will be taught to control them at Hogwarts'', Dumbledore said.

''That school? He will go there, too?''

''Of course he will. Next year, when he turns eleven.''

Suddenly, Sirius stood up. Remus flinched.

''Sirius, what –''

And then, he saw what made Sirius react that way.

Harry Potter was like a copy of the boy that Remus and Sirius had met at the Hogwarts express twenty years earlier. He had the same, messy, black hair, the same height, the same way of walking – only one thing was different. The eyes. He had his mother's green eyes, just like he had when he was a baby.

He stood in the doorpost, looking like he was not sure if he was allowed to be there or not.

''Harry!''

The boy did not look scared, just confused.

''I'm sorry'', he said. ''Do... do I know you?''

Sirius had lost his ability to speak. He kept staring at Harry, and Remus decided to jump in.

''Hi'', he said and stood up. He reached out his hand to shake Harry's. ''My name is Remus. Remus Lupin.''

''My name is Harry. Harry Potter.''

''We have met before, but you probably do not remember it. You were very little. And this is Sirius –''

He gave Sirius a gentle nudge which brought Sirius back to reality. Sirius quickly shook his head and reached out his hand.

''I'm... I'm Sirius Black.''

''Nice to meet you, Mr Black.''

It broke his heart to hear Harry address to him as _Mr Black_ , but he did not say anything. Instead, he kept watching Harry as if he could never get enough of the sight of him.

''You... you look just like James.''

''Did you know my father?'' Harry said with his green eyes wide open.

''I did, actually'', Sirius said, thinking about how extremely weird the whole situation was. With a nod towards Remus, he added; ''We both did.''

The last stranger in the room turned to Harry.

''Hello, Mr Potter. My name is Albus Dumbledore.'' He shook Harry's hand. ''I am headmaster of a school named Hogwarts. Have you heard of Hogwarts?''

Harry shook his head.

''It's a school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You will get your acceptance letter in a year, when you turn eleven.''

''Stop it!'' Vernon growled. ''I do not want to hear about this madness in my house!''

''You never told him about what my letter said, nine years ago?'' Dumbledore asked lightly. Vernon did not respond.

''I can't believe it'', Remus said with a low voice.

''Witchcraft and Wizardry?'' Harry asked, instead.

Sirius looked from Remus to Dumbledore. He could not believe that the Dursley's had never told Harry about _anything._ Yes, they might have been cold-hearted people, but _denying a boy the knowledge about his past?_

''Yes'', Dumbledore said. ''You're a wizard, Harry.''

Harry looked from one person in the room to another, and finally, his look fell on his aunt, waiting for her to protest. But Petunia had buried her face in her hands.

''But... I'm a what?''

''You're a wizard. I am sure you have noticed that you can make things happen that other people can't, no?''

Harry looked like he thought about it.

''That's not possible'', he said.

''Why would it not be possible?'' Dumbledore asked.

''But... wizards don't exist.''

Dumbledore chuckled.

''You're looking at three live specimens.''

Harry turned to Sirius and Remus. They expected him to ask them to prove it, but he did not.

''You're... wizards too?''

They nodded.

''What about my parents?''

''Them, too'', Sirius said.

''Great ones, both of them'', Remus added.

''I think it's best that we tell you the whole story from the beginning, Harry. Would you like to sit down?'' said Dumbledore.

Harry sat down in the empty spot next to Remus.

''Very well'', Dumbledore continued. ''I am not quite sure where to begin, but I'm hoping that Sirius and Remus might fill in if I miss out on something. First of all, let me tell you about your parents. I was headmaster at the school when they went there, I knew them.''

''What about you?'' Harry asked and turned to Petunia, who snorted again. ''Did you go there?''

''Me? Absolutely not. I was the only one who saw what she really was. She came from a normal family – mum, dad and me – yet she turned out that way...''

''You're mother was a muggle-born'', said Dumbledore to Harry.

''Muggle...?''

''Muggles are people without magical powers. Like your aunt, here. But your father came from a wizard family. Where was I? Oh, yes. They were very popular, you should know that. And great students, too. I am sure Remus and Sirius will tell you more about this, later. They went to school with them and they were friends.''

''I will tell you everything about them'', Sirius ensured him. ''I promise. They were great people.''

''Unfortunately, every wizard is not good, Harry. Especially not one of them – named Lord Voldemort. He is often called by You-know-who, or The-one-who-must-not-be-named, since people fear his name.''

''Fear his name? Why?''

''Because he did things, Harry, horrible things, worth fearing. And he was after your parents. Lily and James Potter knew about this, so they stayed hidden. They were helped by a charm named the Fidelius Charm – which protects the house unless the Secret-Keeper chooses to reveal the secret. The thing is, that Sirius here was their Secret-Keeper, but they changed in last minute for several reasons. The new one was named Peter Pettigrew. And he betrayed them.''

Dumbledore kept talking, and Remus watched him, aghasted. Why did Dumbledore tell Harry everything at once? Was it not too much to handle for an eleven year-old boy?

''And then, unfortunately, he found them. And that is the night when Lily and James Potter died.''

''They were _murdered? You told me they died in a car accident!_

''CAR ACCIDENT!?''

''Sirius, calm down –''

''I am not going to calm down!'' Sirius was furious and he looked at Petunia with a look that could have killed her. ''You told him that they died in a _car accident?''_

Petunia still did not say anything.

''Well, well'', Dumbledore said. ''The mystery is – why did Voldemort never get to you? And what happened to him? Some people say he died, but would not be so sure. I think he is just too weak to get back his power.''

''But... why _did_ he never get to me? Why didn't he manage to kill me?''

''No one knows. And this, Harry...'' Dumbledore leaned forward as he spoke and watched the boy over the arches of his glasses. ''...is why you are famous.''

''You probably have the wrong person. I am not famous.''

''You are. But not in this world. In the wizarding world.''

''I... I am?''

''Yes. You are the boy who lived!''

''Stop it!'' Vernon said again. ''That's it! Get out!''

Everyone looked at him for a few seconds, but no one said anything. Dumbledore turned to Harry again, ignoring Vernon.

''Sirius, who was very close to your father, found Pettigrew to confront him, the day after Lily and James died. And then, Pettigrew made a giant explosion and cut of his finger so that everyone would think that he was dead. Twelve innocent people died. The thing is that people thought that _Sirius_ betrayed your parents, made the explosion and killed Pettigrew. Including me and Remus, here, until yesterday. Sirius have been in prison since the day your parents died, but yesterday, Pettigrew was found alive and Sirius is, from this day, free.''

Harry looked at Sirius.

''I'm sorry'', he said. ''It must have been horrible for you. I'm glad you're out of there.''

Sirius heart melted.

''I think I have done my part'', Dumbledore said and stood up. ''The real reason to why we are here today... well, I think Sirius and Remus can tell you this. Petunia, Vernon – may I ask for a cup of tea?''

He stood up and walked in to the kitchen without waiting for an answer. Remus could not help but admire his courage.

Vernon looked like leaving those strangers with Harry in the living room was the last thing he wanted, but Petunia pinched him when he stayed in the armchair and involuntarily, he stood up. He gave Remus and Sirius a murderous look before he left the living room after his wife and the old professor.

Sirius turned to Harry again.

''You don't... you don't remember anything from before you got here?''

''He was just one year old, Sirius'', Remus mumbled.

''Yeah, you're right.''

''I'm sorry, Mr Black'', Harry said. ''I don't remember anything. Except from...''

Remus and Sirius looked at him quickly.

''... a black dog. I don't know. Maybe I just had a dream about it or something. I'm not sure. It's probably not even real.''

''There was a black dog!'' Sirius said excitedly. ''Do you remember it?''

''It's real?'' asked Harry with big eyes.

''Yes!'' said Sirius and nodded.

''Is it still alive?''

''Yes!''

''What's his name?''

Sirius and Remus exchanged a quick look.

''Padfoot'', Sirius said. ''Maybe you can meet him some time!''

''Really?''

''Of course!''

Remus was still amazed by Harry's casual reaction to the wizard-thing, but he stayed quiet.

''Actually, Harry, what we came here to talk to you about... I don't think you know this, but... I am your godfather.''

''You... you are?''

''I am. And Lily and James made me your guardian if something happened to them. Since I've been in Azkaban – the prison, it's called Azkaban – all those years, I have not been able to take care of you, like I promised your father and your mother. And I'm sorry for that. I understand that you have grown up here now, with the Dursley's, but we just wanted you to know that... we would love to get to know you. And if you ever want another home... we haven't got much at the time, we're going to stay at Remus' place in Wales for a while until we figure things out and find something. But... you are always welcome to live with us.''

Harry's looked at him with big eyes again.

''Are you saying that I can live with you?''

''Just if you want to. The offer stands.''

''Of course I want to! Are you serious? Would you really let me live with you?''

''You would really like to do that?''

''Yes! When can I move in?''

Sirius turned to Remus, who looked just as confused as Sirius felt.

''We... we don't know'', Remus said. ''As soon as possible, if you'd like to. We'll have to find another place, first. You don't... you don't want to stay here? You heard what Dumbledore told you, you will go to Hogwarts next year, but we thought that, if you'd like to stay in school with your friends...''

''I don't have many friends'', Harry said, and suddenly he sounded a little sadder. ''The people in school... they don't like me.''

''What?''

''Why don't they like you?''

''Probably because I'm weird. I have weird clothes – well, they're not weird, but they too big because it's Dudley's old clothes – and Dudley does not like me, so he's friends don't like me, either...''

''What?'' Sirius said again, but Remus gave him a small shove.

''You don't want to go back to school?'' Remus asked instead. ''Not even if it's a different school, in a different place?''

''Not if I don't have to.''

Once again, Sirius and Remus looked at each other and tried to agree on what they would say now. Sirius could read Remus' mind and slowly nodded. Remus turned to Harry.

''Well, Harry, we will have to find a place where we can live. But... do you want to stay close to this place? Surrey? Or do you want to move somewhere else?''

''It really does not matter. Anywhere is fine.''

''We'll see what we can do'', Remus smiled. ''Maybe we could get to know each other while Sirius and I are looking around for a house? If you're going to live there too, your input is pretty important, isn't it? We can see each other every once in a while and hang out. What would you think of that?''

''That sounds great, Mr Lupin!''

''You don't have to call me by ''Mr'', Harry. You can call me Remus.''

''Same here'', Sirius said. ''You can call me by Sirius. We'll be best mates, you and I.''

Harry smiled the most adorable smile Sirius had ever seen.

''Maybe we could go somewhere now'', Remus said and threw a glance at his watch. ''Are you hungry, Harry?''

Seconds later, Harry's stomach growled loud.

''Yes, I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday.''

He said it casually, and at first, Remus and Sirius thought it was a joke, but he looked serious.

 _''What? Why?''_

''I accidentally spilled Dudley's water all over his new jumper yesterday. I really did not mean to, I stood at the other side of the room and I did not exactly do anything...''

 _''THEY STARVE YOU?''_

Harry looked surprised by Sirius exclamation.

''It's just been a day. I've been through worse. One time, I scratched the paint on uncle Vernon's new car, and then I only got to eat one piece of bread per day for a week.'' Harry said it as if it was just an old, funny, story, an anecdote, but Sirius felt like he could burst in to tears.

''Just give me a second'', he mumbled, stood up and walked in to the kitchen. Remus was worried that he would hex Petunia or something else that made them lose their chance to have Harry with them, but he realized that he had Sirius' wand in his pocket. He turned to Harry again.

''You really do look like your father.''

Dumbledore, Vernon and Petunia sat at the kitchen table. Dumbledore looked like he was in his own little world, he hummed on a song and stirred his teacup. Vernon and Petunia sat at the opposite side of the table, with tormented faces. They flinched when Sirius bursted in to the room. He put his hands down at the table and leaned forward.

''I am not going to yell at you'', he hissed. ''But ask yourself, Petunia.''

''How dare you...'' Vernon began, but Sirius shut him up with a gesture.

''Ask yourself. Would Lily ever had done this to Dudley?''

Petunia looked shocked and speechless. Sirius stared at her so intense that she had to look away, before he stood up and straightened his back.

''Harry wants to stay with us. He told us that. Once we have a place where we can all live he will move in with us.''

He turned their back on them and walked in to the living room again. He heard a ''what?'' from Petunia, before the sound of scraping chairs reached his ears and he realized that she followed him in to the living room. Vernon was not late to come with her, but Dumbledore stayed in the kitchen, humming on an unknown song.

''You – you're taking him with you?'' she asked.

''Not now'', Sirius said and sat down at the other side of the couch, next to Harry. ''But soon.''

''You can't take him!'' Petunia snapped. ''You can't take care of a child – you can't even take care of yourself! Didn't you use to go around on a motorcycle?''

''So what? That was nine years ago and for your information, that motorcycle is what brought your nephew here.''

''But... but you!'' She pointed at Remus. _''I know what you are!''_

''What?'' Remus said, surprised. ''How...?''

 _''I heard Lily and that Snape-boy talk about it years ago!_ She tried to deny it, but I could hear that she knew it, too... you _monster!''_

''Hey!'' Sirius protested. ''Do not talk to him like that!''

''And you two! You two _together..._ I know about that, too! I'm not as stupid as you think! It's _disgusting!_ No boy can grow up happily with people like _you_ around them!''

''What is she talking about?'' Harry asked politely.

''Tell him about it! Tell him, and see how he reacts!'' Petunia insisted.

Sirius gave her one more murderous look before he turned to Harry again.

''Harry. Remus and I are a couple.''

''Even if you're both men?''

''Yes. Do you think that's weird?'' Remus asked. ''Does it make you uncomfortable?''

''Do you love each other?''

''Yes'', they said at the same time. Harry shrugged.

''Then I can't see why I would have a problem with that.''

Sirius turned to Petunia with a triumphant look in his face.

''He's too young to understand...!'' she said.

''Maybe. But then we'll have to take the problem when it comes, when he gets older, right?'' Remus said.

''He will turn out just like you!''

''Good for him'', Sirius said with a cold voice. ''Now, if you'll excuse us, we are going to take Harry for dinner.''

''Can I see where you live?'' Harry asked excitedly.

''Of course'', Remus said. ''We can drop you off here again tonight.''

Harry smiled big.

''And then we will come back soon'', Sirius said. ''Promise.''

''You'll...'' Petunia continued. ''You'll ruin his childhood!''

''At least we won't starve him'', Remus said sharply. ''Are you ready, Harry?''


	3. Home is where the heart is

''So, this is it. It's messy and it's small, but it's home.''

Harry looked around in Remus' flat. It was a bedroom, a living room with a couch, and a small kitchen. There were piles of books everywhere and the walls were covered by moving pictures, posters and photos. It smelled like tea and parchment.

''I love it'', he said as he stared at the pictures with big eyes. Remus took all of their jackets and put them on a chair. He walked in to the living room.

''Here is a picture of you'', he said and waved at Harry. He took down one of the photos from the shelf and showed it to the boy. The photo showed a happy couple – Lily and James, smiling big, with Harry between them. ''And this one – he's just two years older than you here.'' He took down another one, from their second year. It was James, with the quidditch trophy in his hand.

''That's... that's my dad? You were right. I do look like him.''

''You didn't know how your father looked like?'' asked Sirius with a wrinkle between his eyebrows.

''No. I've never seen a photo of them.''

''...Lily neither?''

''No. Aunt Petunia doesn't like to talk about her.''

Sirius looked upset. Remus did not say anything, but turned around and reached out for another photo.

''There she is'', he said and pointed at eighteen year-old Lily. ''This is from the day your dad proposed to her.''

''She looks happy.''

''She was happy'', Remus said.

''And she looks young.''

''She is only eighteen at this photo.''

''And what about that one?'' Harry asked and pointed at the other one, one with just Lily, sitting in Remus' armchair with Harry in her arms.

''They were just twenty one.''

He felt a inpleasant lump of tears in his throat. Harry kept staring at the photo.

''She was beautiful.''

Remus and Sirius smiled.

''She was.''

''I wish I could get to know her. And dad.''

Sirius gentle stroke Harry over the messy hair.

''They would have wanted to get to know you, too.''

Harry turned to Sirius.

''You're not in any of these photos! Why?''

''There'', Sirius said and pointed at the wedding photo. ''There I am. That's the only one.''

''For now'', Remus added. ''I'll make sure Sirius will be here too, soon.''

''Is Pettigrew here?''

''Yes. There.'' Remus pointed at the photo of James, Remus and Peter.

''Will you remove him from here?''

''I don't know. Maybe. I will remove a few of them, but not all of them. What he become does not change who he was. These are still happy memories. Maybe I was not mature enough to realize that nine years ago, when I took away the pictures of Sirius.''

That was _almost_ the truth. Seeing Pettigrew on the shelf was frustrating. But seeing Sirius on the shelf, nine years earlier, had been torture. A reminder, not just of his betrayal, but the thought that he had lied about his love for Remus for five years.

''Let's get us some tea'', Sirius said with a smile and walked in to the kitchen.

When he came back, Remus and Harry was sitting in the couch, talking. Sirius put the tea tray on the table, gave Remus and Harry their tea and sat down on the floor with his hands around his cup, leaning against the armchair where Remus sat.

''But what do you learn in history, then?'' Remus asked with interest. He and Harry were in the middle of a conversation about muggle schools.

''Mostly about, you know, war and stuff.''

''Like First Muggle World War?''

''Yeah. We just finished reading about the second.''

''That's the one Hitler was in, right?'' Sirius asked.

''Yes, exactly'', Harry said.

''Your mother was really interested in history'', said Sirius. ''She taught us a lot about the muggle world. Politics and stuff.''

''Speaking of which'', Remus said and turned to Sirius. ''Are you aware of anything that has happened in the world lately? The Berlin Wall fell last year.''

 _''What?''_

Remus laughed.

''I guess I could give you an update later. So, what's your favorite subject in school, then, Harry?''

Harry shrugged.

''I don't know. Math is okay.''

''I wish I could do math'', Sirius sighed. ''I barely know how to multiply stuff.''

''You don't learn those things at Hogwarts?''

''No.''

''What do you learn, then?''

''You learn about Transfiguration...'' Remus began.

''...Charms...''

''...Defence against the Dark Arts...''

''...Potions...''

''...History of magic...''

''...and lots of other things. You will love it.''

''It sounds amazing. Are you... is this really true?'' Harry said.

''Of course it's true! We both went there!'' Sirius said.

''What subject did you like the most, then?''

''I was always a great fan of Charms'', Sirius said. ''And I was pretty damn good at it, too.'' Remus gav him a small shove again. ''Oh, fuck, I swore. And now I did it again! Hell, I suck at this...''

 _''Sirius!''_

Harry was laughing.

''Well, he was good at charms, indeed'', Remus admitted. ''I always liked Defence against the Dark Arts more.''

''And he was pretty good at it'', Sirius filled in.

''What about my parents?''

''James was the best in our class at Transfiguration. Lily liked Potions, most, i think'', Remus said. Then he laughed and added; ''I can't count the number of times she sat up with me in the middle of the night, trying to help me study the day before a Potions test. James always brought us sandwiches and told us how important it was to eat and sleep.''

Harry smiled when he heard the words about his parents. It felt like he got to know them, just a little, little bit more, for every thing Remus and Sirius told him.

''Yeah, but then you sat up with _her_ the day before Defence against the Dark Arts tests'', Sirius laughed. ''And James made sandwiches.''

''James the sandwich-maker.''

''Let's be honest, we would have starved to death before second year without him.''

''True.'' Remus turned to Harry again. ''How are you feeling about Hogwarts?''

''If it's as good as it sounds when you're talking about it, I can't wait'', Harry said.

''It's even better. I am sure you will love it. Just make sure you don't get sorted in to Slytherin.''

 _''Sirius!''_

''Okay, okay, sorry. It doesn't matter, we will accept you anyway.''

''What is Slytherin?'' Harry asked curiously.

''There are four houses at Hogwarts'', Remus explained. ''Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Slytherin. The house is like your home. They have a common room, and you share dorm room with the students in your house. And you have your classes together.''

''How do you know where you should be?''

''When you get there, you will get to put on a hat called ''The Sorting hat''. It will look at your qualities and then judge where you belong. Every house values different qualities, but they're all good'', Remus said.

''But what's the difference?''

''Well, Hufflepuff values loyalty and hard work. Ravenclaw values intelligence and knowledge. Gryffindor values bravery and courage. And Slytherin values...''

''Pure blood'', Sirius mumbled.

''What's 'pure blood'?''

 _''Slytherin values cunningness and ambition, and it is a great house'',_ Remus said stubbornly, looking at Sirius. ''The founder, though, Salazar Slytherin, had an idea that only those with pure blood should attend the school. Pure blood means coming from a wizard family, but not everyone in Slytherin is from a pureblood family.''

''Does it matter?'' Harry asked. ''If your family are wizards?''

''No'', Remus answered. ''But some wizard families think so.''

He did not have to look at Sirius as he said it to know what Sirius felt.

''But... what am I, then?''

''Your father was a pureblood and your mother came from a muggle family, so you're a half-blood. Just like me.''

''What about you?'' said Harry, looking at Sirius.

''I'm from a pureblood family'', Sirius said. ''Where everyone was in Slytherin. Except from me.''

''Where were you?''

''Gryffindor. With your dad, and Remus. And Lily.''

''You will probably meet their Head of House soon, Minerva McGonagall. She's teaching Transfiguration'', Remus said.

''Are the teachers at Hogwarts good?''

''Well, yes'', Sirius said. ''I don't know how many of the teachers from our time there are left. Professor Binns teaches History of Magic, and he's a ghost, so I don't think he's planning to retire.''

''And then there's professor Sprout. Herbology. She's a great teacher, and head of the Hufflepuff house'', Remus continued.

''And then... what about old Slughorn? Is he still there?'' Sirius asked.

Remus did not answer.

''Oh no, is he dead?'' Sirius asked with a anxious look. ''Don't tell me he died.''

''No, no'', said Remus. ''But he's not there anymore.''

''But he can't be that old... who's teaching Potions now, then?''

Remus looked like he really did not want to answer the question.

''Remus?'' Sirius said impatiently.

''Snape'', Remus said, and tried to sound as casual as possible. Sirius reacted in the exact way Remus did not want him to. And the exact way he knew that Sirius would react.

 _''What?''_ Sirius cried out, spilling some tea in his knee and quietly swearing to himself as he reached out for a napkin.

''Snape is the head of the Slytherin house'', Remus said, ignoring Sirius' shocked face and turned to Harry. ''And he is probably _a great teacher.''_ He stared pointedly at Sirius as he said the last words. Sirius, who looked like he wanted to say something about his old classmate, stayed silent.

''Who's Snape?'' asked Harry.

''We went to school with him'', Remus said lightly. ''I haven't talked to him in years.''

There was a few moments of silence.

''Who's teaching Defence against the Dark Arts, then?'' Sirius wondered instead.

''I heard they are looking for a new teacher this year. The old one retired. I don't know if they found one.''

''You should apply for the job!'' Sirius said.

''No.''

''Why? You always wanted to teach, and this is really your subject!''

''No.''

''Stop saying 'no' and give me a legit reason!''

''It doesn't matter. They asked me if I wanted the job and I said no.''

Sirius stared at Remus as if he had gone mad.

 _''They asked you if you wanted to teach Defence against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts and you said no?''_

''And in retrospect, that was good, right? With the two of you, I mean.''

''But still! This is the job of your dreams!''

''I think this is a conversation for later, Sirius'', Remus said, soft but decidedly. ''More tea, Harry?''

''You'll probably have to watch out, Remus'', Sirius said with a smirk. ''Because I am falling absolutely head over heels in love with that boy.''

Remus laughed.

They had just dropped Harry off at Privet Drive again. They had travelled by floo, the first time for Harry, who was amazed by it.

''He reminds me a lot of his parents. Both of them.''

''He does'', Sirius said.

He stood in the kitchen, washing the dishes. It was almost ten and they had been hanging out with Harry for hours. He seemed comfortable with them - and when they told him it was time to go, he protested. He told them he would much rather stay with them, and they promised him to come back soon so he could move there for good.

''You can do that with magic, you know'', Remus said.

''It just takes a minute to do it by hand.''

''You don't have to do that. I can do it.''

''No, let me do it. Besides, I'm done now'', said Sirius and rinsed off the last tea cup. He put it down and dried off his hands on the towel.

Suddenly, he felt Remus' hands around his waist and a pleasant, tingling sensation spread in his body.

''I still can't believe you're here'', he heard a whisper in his ear. ''I've missed you.''

Remus pressed his lips to Sirius' shoulder and Sirius involuntarily moaned.

''I've missed you, too.''

Remus' hands wandered down to Sirius' hips and sneaked up under his t-shirt. He let his finger stroke over Sirius' sharp hipbones.

''You know what? I think I'm pretty horny.''

 _He knows me so well_ , Sirius thought. He loved when Remus said those small dirty things to him, he loved _Remus._

''I'm the one who's been without sex for nine years'', Sirius smiled.

''Me too.''

 _''What?''_

''No, not really'', Remus confessed. ''There's been girls. Two girls. But... I'm in the mood for some cock.''

He pressed his lips to Sirius shoulder again, but further up, closer to his neck.

''Mhmm?''

''Actually, not just that. I'm in the mood for _your_ cock.''

Sirius gasped as Remus kissed him just a few centimeters under his ear.

''Can you feel how hard you make me?'' Remus mumbled, standing with his hips close to Sirius' backside. Sirius nodded and reached down his hand to feel Remus, but Remus grabbed his arms and pushed them up. Sirius put his hands behind Remus' head, and felt every single one of his warm breaths close to his cheek. Remus' hands wandered down along Sirius' sides.

''Let's do it'', Sirius whispered.

Remus smiled.

''Do what?''

''You'd like to hear me say it. You dirty little shit.''

''Mmm, you love me.''

In just a few seconds, Sirius had made himself free from Remus' grip, turned around, lifted Remus up with an impressive strength and put him down on his back on the kitchen table. He jumped up on the table himself, bend down on his knees and kissed Remus passionately.

''You're wearing too much clothes.''

''I thought you might help me to do something about that'', Remus mumbled and kissed him again as Sirius' fingers went to Remus' shirt buttons. ''Bed, now?''

''I thought we knew from experience that beds do not necessarily make things better.''

''So what do you suggest?''

''Mm... what about here?''

Remus laughed and sat up to let Sirius' take off the unbuttoned shirt. Sirius threw it on the floor and then pushed Remus back. He pressed his lips to Remus' throat and kissed him, further and further down over his chest.

''The kitchen table?''

''Why not?'' said Sirius.

''The neighbours could see us.''

''Lucky them.''

Remus moaned as Sirius put his lips right above the edge of his trousers.

''I think I'm not the only one with too much clothes, Sirius.''


	4. Godric's Hollow

''Ouch, what –''

Remus sat up and looked around. He sighed.

''Sirius, wake up.''

Not a single sign of life was given from Sirius' side.

''Wake up'', Remus said again and nudged Sirius gently in the side.

''Uhhh. Can't. Too early.'' Sirius opened his eyes slightly. ''Wait... oh my God.''

He sat up, looked around in the room and then his look fell to Remus.

''When I said making love in the kitchen was a good idea, I did not plan for this to happen.''

''Me neither'', Remus sighed. ''Come on. Let's go to bed instead.''

Sirius nodded, stood up and rubbed his sore back.

''Damn, Moony. Your kitchen floor is really uncomfortable.''

''You're not really supposed to be sleeping on it.''

''What time is it?''

''Four in the morning.''

''Great. Plenty of time to sleep with you in a _bed.''_

They went in the room and snuggled down under the covers, but Sirius did not come to rest.

''You awake, Remus?'' he mumbled after a while.

''Yeah. Can't sleep.''

''It's not so long 'til full moon, right?''

''Four days.''

''I'll be with you this time. You won't have to go through it alone.''

''I love you. Come here.''

He pulled Sirius in to his arms and Sirius buried his head under Remus' chin. He breathed in the smell of him – Remus smelled like home and safety and everything he had missed.

''If you ever leave me again I'm gonna break'', Remus mumbled in to Sirius' hair.

''Good thing I won't.''

Remus smiled.

''Yeah. Good thing you won't.''

''I love you.''

***

Next time Remus woke up, he found himself alone in the bed. He sat up.

''Sirius?''

It was bright outside of the window now, and when he threw a glance at the clock next to his bed he realized it was already noon.

''I'm here, love! Stay in bed'', he heard from the kitchen. Remus smiled and put down his head on the pillow again. Just a minute later, Sirius came in to the bedroom with breakfast on a tray.

''Just like old times'', said Sirius and sat down next to Remus with the tray over their legs.

''It's like you never even left. How did I survive for nine years without anyone who made me breakfast?''

''How did I survive for nine years without someone to make breakfast for? Here, have some tea.''

He poured up some hot water in a cup and handed it over to Remus.

''Thank you.''

''So, let's talk'', said Sirius and leaned back towards the wall.

''It's too early.''

''You always say that. I want to know everything about what have happened in my Moony's life. I want you to tell me about every moment I missed out on.''

''It hasn't happened so much'', sighed Remus.

''Something must have happened. It's been nine years, for God's sake'', said Sirius.

''... Sovjet is no longer a country?''

''I don't care about fucking Sovjet.''

''Gromyko died last year.''

''I don't care about Gromyko either. I don't even know who he is. I want to know about you. The story of your life. From october 1981 until today. We have plenty of time.''

''Oh Lord.''

''Where you have lived, what you have been working with, who you have been with.''

''You really want me to tell you about the girlfriends from my past?''

''So there have been girlfriends?''

''Not really.''

''Two of them. You told me last night.''

''Nah. Well, yes. But no. They were not really girlfriends. One of them was, I suppose...''

''Tell me.''

Remus noted that Sirius did not seem jealous or upset, just curious. His eyes gleamed. Remus was confused, but he started telling Sirius.

''First, there was this... girl.''

''We've now noted that it was a girl five times, go on'', Sirius joked. ''Do I know her?''

''Er... yes. Mary. Mary MacDonald'', said Remus.

Sirius nearly spilled out his tea.

 _''WHAT? MARY? OUR MARY?''_ he said shocked.

''Since when is she 'our Mary'?''

''I knew her for ten years!''

''I know, so did I'', Remus reminded him.

''It's just – wow! Mary!'' Sirius leaned back and nodded slowly. Then he turned to Remus again: ''Are you aware of the fact that I slept with her?''

''What? When did you sleep with Mary MacDonald?''

''Fifth year. She was good.''

''But... you know what, I'm not even surpised'', Remus said, sighed and shook his head before he continued: ''Anyways, she helped me to plan the funeral. We became friends. And then we kissed and we were suddenly more than friends.''

''Were you in love?''

''Of course not. I think... I think I just needed to... it was weird. I feel weird talking about it.''

''Why?''

''Since I now know you're innocent.''

''But you didn't know that by then. You can tell me.''

''Okay.'' Remus took a deep breath. ''Well, I think I kind of had to get you... away. Away from my body. I felt so disgusted and I just wanted the memories of your touch to disappear. I think I might have tried to... stun myself. I don't think she was in love with me, either. She just needed someone, she could not handle to be alone. You know that her boyfriend broke up with her a month before Lily and James died. I was kind of her rebound. She was kind of mine. We needed each other. It ended pretty soon. We're still friends.''

''And the second one?''

Remus did not respond immediately. He stirred his tea with a small spoon, and then put it down to take a small sip.

''Her name was Claire. She was a muggle. Five years ago. I think I was _in_ love with her, but I could not _love_ her, do you understand? I kind of isolated myself from the magical world for a few years. The muggle world was much more appealing to me. I was still an outcast, but people were not disgusted by me. I could get a job. And after all, I had lost everything I held dear in the magical world, so I could not see the point of holding on to... memories. But, I realized that it would never work out, since my... furry little problem. And she wanted children. Plus, I still loved someone else, even if I hated admitting it. We broke up. It would never work out.''

''Sorry.''

''Don't be. I'm sorry.''

''Sorry about what?''

''Well... the other girls.''

Sirius just laughed.

''Oh my God, Moony, you slept with _two_ people in _nine_ years. You are thirty years old and hotter than ever, but still single. There are a million girls or boys that would have killed to have you. Yet I am the one who is currently eating breakfast in your bed. I am the luckiest man alive.''

Remus smiled.

''You can't be. I am.''

''Shut up. _I_ am. Now tell me. What happened more?''

''Oh, not much. I have been taking small jobs at cafés and stuff, in the muggle world, but I can't handle anything that has to do with food. And also, I often get fired after a few months because I'm ill too often. I've tried small shops and stuff, but same there. I was a substitute teacher for a while, they called me in when someone was ill. I loved it, but I think I wasn't qualified enough for being a muggle teacher. I know nothing about science and stuff. And also, I missed out on seven job opportunities in a row because of full moon. And it often clashed with my other jobs – the teacher job was not enough to pay the bills. So I had to quit. I've lived here in Wales, mostly. I moved from my old flat just a week after Lily and James died. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Too many memories.''

''I see.''

''The new one was in London. After that, I moved to Limerick after getting a job there. But I was fired, so I moved back to Cardiff. And that is pretty much everything that has happened.''

Sirius was quiet.

''All those years'', he mumbled after a while.

''Yeah'', whispered Remus.

''I'm sad.''

''Me too.''

''We missed out on so much'', said Sirius. ''We could have spent them together.''

''Don't look at it that way'', Remus said, put down his tea cup on the tray and grabbed Sirius hand. ''Please. I know that we could have been together all those years, but we're only thirty. Loads of people have not found the love of their lives at this age. We still have so many years ahead of us.''

''Yeah'', said Sirius slowly, staring out through the window, before he closed his eyes and nodded. ''Yeah. You're right.''

Remus gave him a sad smile, before he let go of his hand to reach out for the tea cup again.

''So. What's the plan for today?''

Sirius had just put a piece of bread in his mouth, and waited until he was done chewing before he answered:

''I... I thought about something.''

Remus nodded.

''Of course'', he said. ''I was just waiting for you to ask about it. Let's go there after breakfast. It's in Godric's Hollow. Do you want to go as Padfoot? To avoid the media, I mean.''

Sirius blinked, almost confused over how Remus could know him so well.

''No'', he said. ''I can't avoid them forever. I'm not going to keep on hiding.''

''Good choice. I'll kill them if they bother you.''

''Ahhh. That's my Wolfie.''

After finishing their one hour-breakfast, some snogging and a quick shower, Remus reached out for Sirius hand.

''Ready?''

Sirius took a deep breath.

''Yeah. I think so.''

He grabbed Remus' hand and they disapparated to Godric's Hollow.

''Here it is'', said Remus when they had reached their destination. Sirius looked around. He had been here before, in Godric's Hollow, of course, but something was new. The feeling of home was gone. When he thought about his happy memories from this place, they felt so far away it was hard to even realize that they were not from another life. ''Do you... do you want to go there by yourself first?''

''What...?'' said Sirius. ''No, no. I want you with me. Please.''

''I'll go with you. Let me know if you change your mind'', said Remus. Sirius nodded.

With their hands still clasped together, they started walking towards the place where Lily and James grave was.

''Are you alright there?'' whispered Remus.

Sirius nodded.

''It's here'', said Remus and sat down on the grass in front of a gravestone. Sirius did not say anything, but sat down next to Remus, his eyes at the stone. It was quiet for several minutes.

 _''The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death._ It's good.''

''James said that to me when my father died'', said Remus quietly. ''I thought about it when it was time to pick text.''

''It's great.''

More silence.

''I'm sorry'', breathed Sirius after a while. Remus understood that he was not talking to him, but to Lily and James. ''I'm so, so sorry.''

Remus grabbed his hand. Sirius turned away his face.

''You don't have to hide for me, Sirius.''

Sirius let out a small sob. Remus knew that telling him it was not his fault would not help, so instead, he said;

''You know how much they loved you. You were like a brother to them.''

''Yeah, but that was before I fucking _caused their death._ ''

''You did not cause their death'', said Remus sharply. ''Pettigrew did. And Voldemort. James would have been dead longer before that if it was not for you, remember? You kept him alive.''

Sirius nodded. He remembered saving James from that cellar in 1980. Standing outside of the door, not being sure whether to go in or not, was one of the worst moment of his life. But being able to bring James home, alive, to a hysteric Lily was definately one of the _proudest_ moments of his life.

''I promised them'', cried Sirius. ''I promised them to take care of Harry if something happened –''

''So did I'', said Remus calmly. ''But they would understand. We simply couldn't do it.''

''You're right.''

''We're going to do our best now and that's all that matters.''

Sirius nodded and dried his face with the back of his hands. Remus handed him a napkin and put his arm around him.

''I still remember him so well'', said Sirius with a low voice. ''I think I remember more about him than I remember about Regulus.''

''That's because you spent more time as an adult with James than you did with Regulus.''

''Yeah, true. Gosh, I still remember his smell. I remember his voice.''

Remus held him tighter.

''I miss him so much'', said Sirius.

''Me too'', said Remus. ''I know I can't possibly understand what it's like losing a brother, and you know far too well by know. So I can't say I understand, no matter how much I'd want to. But just know that you're not alone. You never have to pretend for me. You don't have to act.''

Sirius leaned towards his shoulder, tears streaming down his face. He sniffled, not trying to hide his tears anymore.

''Here'', said Remus and made a gesture. Sirius laid down his head in Remus' lap, still staring at the gravestone. Remus felt the tears well upp in his eyes, too, but he blinked them away. He had cried here way too many times before. This time, he had to stay strong for Sirius.

He gently stroke his hand over Sirius' hair. They sat their for almost an hour, and for a moment, it felt as if they were almost reunited with their friends again. Sirius and Remus remembered together, without saying a word.

It started raining, and Sirius sat up. He put a hand on the stone.

''We'll take care of him. I promise.''

He stood up, reached out a hand for Remus and pulled him up. They walked away, side by side.


	5. Celebration and nightmares

Sirius almost stumbled in to the kitchen. Remus and Harry were sitting at the table, playing chess and eating muffins, and they immediately looked up when they heard him.

''How did it go?'' said Remus quickly. ''Good? Bad?''

Sirius did not say anything.

''Bad?'' said Remus carefully. He could not read Sirius' facial expression – was it shock, anger, surprise...? Several moments passed before Sirius opened his mouth;

''Three millions'', he said quietly.

''Pardon?''

 _''Three millions''_ , Sirius repeated. ''Three million galleons.''

Remus stared at him.

''That's impossible.''

''No. Three freaking million galleons. Probably to save Barty Crouch's arse for putting me there in the first place.''

 _''Three million galleons?''_ He flew up from the chair and threw his arms around Sirius.

''Yes!''

''You... are you sure?''

''Of course I'm sure! Do you realize what this means? We will _never_ have to worry about money. Never ever.'' They let go of each other and Sirius turned to Harry. ''Harry, mate! How are you doing? Come on, let's celebrate! What do you want for dinner? Choose anything!''

Harry, looking almost overwhelmed with the fact that he got to be a part of the happy atmosphere in the room, smiled widely as Sirius pulled him in to a hug.

The night was filled with food, laughter and happiness. They talked about James and Lily, they showed Harry a few magic tricks, and he asked them loads of questions about the magical world. When the clock struck nine they all burst out in a mutual sigh.

''Do I _have_ to go?'' said Harry dejectedly. Sirius gave him a sad smile in response and stood up from the couch.

''Soon, you won't have to go. I promise.''

''But why do I have to go _now?''_

''We promised your aunt'', said Remus. ''Don't worry. This will all be over sooner than you think. We'll be a proper family.''

Harry nodded.

Sirius left Harry off at Privet Drive, and when he came back, Remus had fallen asleep at the couch. He smiled at the sight and bend down next to him.

''Hey, pretty boy. Are you awake?''

Remus opened his eyes and when he looked in to Sirius's, it was, once again, like nothing had ever changed.

''I forgot you used to call me that.''

Sirius laughed and carefully ran his hand through Remus' hair.

''Do you want to go to sleep?''

''No'', said Remus and sat up. ''It's not even half past nine.''

''You're tired.''

''Pfft. I can handle it. We need to celebrate properly, eh?''

''We've celebrated all day!''

Remus smiled, stood up and walked over to a cabinet at the other side of the room. Sirius recognized it; it had once belonged to Remus' grandmother. Remus took out a bottle of champagne and two glasses, and turned to Sirius again.

''We need some adult celebrating.''

Sirius laughed again and took the glass Remus reached out to him.

''Really? And, except from the champagne, what kind of activities does that include?''

Remus kissed him as an answer, before he opened the bottle and poured up champagne in the glasses.

''Cheers'', he said. ''To a fresh start. And three million galleons.''

''Cheers'', said Sirius and raised his glass. They took a sip and Remus leaned back in the couch. He made a gesture to Sirius, who sat down in front of him and leaned his head towards Remus' chest.

''We should start looking for a house tomorrow.''

''We should talk about exactly what we're looking for.''

''You have a point'', said Sirius, and slowly took a sip from his champagne before he continued: ''So, what exactly are we looking for?''

''I have no idea. I'll go where you go.''

''I'll go where you go'', said Sirius honestly.

''That's great, but we have to come up with _something'',_ said Remus.

''Okay'', said Sirius. ''Well... we could always live in a palace.''

''Or...''

''...or maybe not. Maybe a house on the beach?''

''That sounds nice. We always talked about moving close to the ocean before the war started.''

''Do you want to stay in Britain?''

''I don't know. Maybe. It might be good to stay close to Harry.''

''We should talk to him about this. Hear his opinion.''

''Yeah'', said Remus. ''After all, he's going to live there, too.''

''We can call him tomorrow.''

''Yeah.''

xxx

The man – no, the _boy –_ was screaming.

''Help!'' he sobbed. ''Help me – please!''

Sirius tried to run, but something that seemed like an invisble wall stopped him.

''I'm coming!'' he shouted. ''Don't worry!''

But he could not pass the wall. He could still hear the sobbing and it made him break on the inside – but suddenly, there was quiet.

''No!'' Sirius shouted. ''No! Where did you go? Are you still there?''

Still silence.

''He's dead'', another voice suddenly said and Sirius turned around. ''You could've gotten there in time, but you didn't.''

''I... I tried...''

James laughed.

''You killed him'', he said with a cold voice. Tears welled up in Sirius' eyes. ''You let him die, even though you promised to protect him... you killed your brother, just like you killed me.''

''Don't say that!'' Sirius begged. ''Please... I'm sorry...''

His old best friend just stared at him with a cold, empty look. And then, suddenly, he yelled;

''Sirius!''

''What?''

 _''SIRIUS!''_

 _''Don't yell at me! I'm sorry, James... I'm sorry...''_

'' _SIRIUS! WAKE UP!''_

Sirius opened his eyes and realized that the person yelling his name was not James, it was Remus, who was sitting up in bed, bend over Sirius. And they were not in the Forbidden Forrest – they were in their bedroom. Remus watched Sirius with an anxious look.

''Love, are you okay? You were screaming and... and...''

Sirius could not answer, but realized that he was crying. Remus stroke a wet wisp of hair out of his glistening face and kept his hand on Sirius' cheek.

''Just a nightmare'', Remus whispered. ''Just a nightmare. You're safe.''

Sirius could barely get air. He sniffled and turned around in bed.

''Sorry'', he mumbled. ''I woke you up.''

''Don't be silly.'' Remus laid down again.

''Will you... will you hold me?''

''Of course. Come here.''

Sirius rolled closer to Remus and his heartbeat started to go back to normal the second Remus puts his arm around him.


End file.
